Enlightenment... or just lost the leg you would always give away for something else.

I have been enlightened... or so I seem to think, I have been hospitalized for nearly 6 months and just got out on April 7 I think, it is now two weeks later and I'm adjusting to life at home quite well. never knew how much I was missing til you can't come home for half of a year. O.k. so this is the story of what happened so that the one other person who is reading my blog can know the story.
Last year around May I woke up to a cramp in my shin that seemed as if the devil himsel;f were standing on my leg and wouldn't let go of my foot! it hurt so bad that it actually made a snapping sound when I tried to stretch it out, after that it was still painful but somewhat operational, so I went to work and started my day out, well when I got home from work it had swollen to the size of a regular size grapefruit, that would be my foot. My foot was as if you took a small ham and put your foot through it and tried to walk, and it started to hurt...the next day I decided since there was a lot of pain I should go to the doctor and see what exactly was wrong with the appendage. At the doctors he told me it was a case of what is called "Edema" which for you non-medically mindeds, basicaaly means accumulations of liquids or fluids in that area (which was my foot). At that he gave me some pain killers and some pills to deflate or reduce the swelling . so at that I went back to work and kept going back to the doctor for about 5 months for meds and eventually stoppped taking the pain killers (this was a good thing in the end). In the middle of November the pain began to get worse and the swelling wouldn't reside, it had seemed for a while that my foot was getting smaller and better so I didn't see the point of seeing another doctor, but as it got worse and worse I started to get a fever and slowly my body started to fall apart. By the last week of Nov. I was a mess and my gf told me I had to see another doc, well I went to the doc and he just started writing a letter of introduction to a big general hospital and said "there is nothing more I can do" It had gotten out of control. I left his offoce and went down stairs to the taxi and luckily for me my gf was with me because apparently I passed out just as I got in the taxi. By the time I was recieved at the Nagasaki Atomic Bomb Hosptial (this is going to be ironic afterwards) my fever was at 106fht I was in and out of consciousness and basically unaware of my surroundings. I was immediatly taken to the...regular doctor there...this is Japan, from there although I had a fever that could start the sun, and no awareness the scare of the new strain of influenza was stronger and had to get checked for the flu first!!! I do realize and appreciate the methodical extreme of Japanese people buuuuuutttt!!!! you know lemme in!! O.k. so now I'm in the hospital and seeing a doctor who immediatly sends me to surgery and sets up all the details for me.
The surgery consist of slicing open my foot with three long cuts on top on the right in the middle and on the left and one across the bottom of my foot around the lower middle part, then like lyposuction, suctioning out the bad parts or flesh and infected parts then leaving the incisions open to let the puss and infection( I know gross) flow out of my foot. Apparently I'm also losing blood by the litre ( this is Japan we use the metric system) and am having transfusions by the gallon!;) as this operation is finishing I slowly regain consciousness and figre out that it wasn't just the flu that was bothering me!
Now having had that done to me my feet are wrapped in gauze and tape ( right foot was like collateral damage just a precaution) can't walk I start my 5 month stay at the hospital.
Im7 in the general ward where they really take care of you and it is really nice except that, you guessed it I am Diabetic...which means a 1200 calorie diet of soft boiled food and rice (again Japan). Which might I say was extremely healthy....yeah what ever! but good service. Everyday running fever is about 100fht and I.V.s are hooked up like a lab test subject, getting protien, nourishment, blood, and a shmere (is htat actually a word) of antibiotics, actually it is called a broad spec of antibiotics. Now for 2 weeks this was the routine I was going throughthen I was moved or transferred to the surgical ward and that will be the next blog.

Campaign contributions

Well well well, here we go again, so basically I've stopped going out and milling with the people that have loved me for all these years at my bar, yes I feel bad and truly thank you for the good times we had at my bar and no worries no secrets will be revealed here on my blog, although Facebook is another story...hehehe... but seriously, all the fuckin' hoopla about who's doinkin' who and who got what is about to kill me, I think I tried to hit on that point in my last blog but who cares anyway. I now realize what all my buddies were saying when they would come into the bar and say" shit man you really can work this thing how do you deal with all the shit?", and now I look back and think...HOLY! crap how did I deal with all the crap?". and how do we deal with it?
Why do we have to talk about other people when we don't think they are gonna hear about it? You know what I mean, I do it just as muck as anybody does, I try not to but it happens. What would we talk about if we couldn't talk about other people? Scenario, you walk into a bar and see one of you buddies that you haven't seen in a few, you grab a beverage and step up to the bar and say "hey! ----- what the hells goin on?" he says (or she) " hey bro (or sis) wazzzzuup?" a little chit chat about the weather and a few sporting tips (basically how to win the bets) and then on to the always ever waiting"so did you hear about ----?" you "no, what ?" yeah well blah blah blah..." and life goes on. it is a great thing, to see how this works I think I was able to stay away from the effects at the bar because I was behind the bar at the time, that 70cm counter does wonders and a firewall... amazing. but now I'm in the thick of it all, and it's quite different, It's really I eye openening.
Another one that I have a problem with is stepping all over people to get what you want and then expect those same people to respect you when you get what you want!!! yeah roight!! not gonna happen. tried to save a friendship only tyo have that person step all over me a dnthen expect me to realize and understand that I was the bad guy. what would you take friendship or money? depends on the mony you might think but I still think that living here in Japan and having only a few close friends that you know would go to bat for you taking the friendship is the way. I'm not saying " all gaijin unite" but am saying that the people who understand you the most you shouldn't shun from your life!
What are your most important values, money? family? food?position? status in the community? what drives you to do what you do? what makes you think the way you think? are you a vengeful person? are you passive, are you able to face your fears, and or troubles head on or do you run and hide? why ? these are the questions I'm going to think about and talk about later
see ya

Politics and Bullshit are they so far apart

You ever have that feeling like what ever you do isn't good enough and you don't or can't make a difference! Now on top of that my beloved GF seems as is she's going to give me the Dear John, here pretty soon (no offense to anyone named john). Not that I am the most unwanted human on the face of the earth at the moment (soon to be changed) I am over 40 and have Diabetes, have been unemployed now for over 8 months, good eh! yeah even I wouldn't date myself let alone want to be myself if it wasn't for my GF and ever loving friends I probably would be homeless and have AIDS by now or my home would have been destroyed by some freak accident of an ungodly nature. So how do you get out of this loop? what do you do? because I'm at a loss really in a state of confusion! So what I'm attempting to do is by blogging and kind of brainstorming, trying to talk my way out of this gigantic slump that I have jumped into! here we go!!!
You know when everything that is right is wrong and everything that is wrong is...well going to go for the other guy. What great god came to my life and said guess what "Today is the day you (that means me) are going to screw the rest of what looks like a good life or starting to be, up! yup that happened, now what to do, do I go to the temple and get purified? do I whip myself and cause sef-inflicted pain, (ehehehe) internet porno just doesn't seem to be the answer, and you can't expect your friends to any more than encourage you not to do anything stupid (thanks). does anything work? can you fix it? is it destiny? do you believe in destiny? Is there a all powerful being or whatever that controls it? what about free agency that is taught in 99% of all religeons the process of making our own choices? does tis mean we are free to make our own choices acocording to the will of another, as long as we choose the right path we are free to pursue the right road? only according to that which is lad out for us? some religeons teach not destiny but pre-ordination? how different or similar are they! Am I destined, pre-ordained to fail if I don't make the choice!? or just destined to fail? you know like a grade curve, getr some A's and some B's and some C's and some (like me will unfortuneately...Fail, My saving grace is a saying I once heard that said (Idon't remember who said it or where and when) something close to this, people would really be surprized at where they stood right before they quit, because they were usually right at the point of success! I must be right at the brink of major break through!! Cuz I'm right at the quitting point! But in the words of the great Winston Churchill, " Never quit,...Never quit, never quit, never quit, never quit, never quit, never quit." 7 times if I'm not mistaken, (does this mean I shouldn't have qiot smoking and drinking!!) so here I am. And then again there is the great story of the man beating stick, Job, a man whowas so faithful to god that god could use him as a basis of example to Satan during a challenge from the Devil himself. the message -Have faith-pure and simple go forward, move on despite the turmoil that surrounds you. I used to be amune to the gossip and junk talk that surrounded me but now that I don't have a job, I can't help but hear the crap that goes on! when you work it is second door to your job, because you are pre-occupied. need to get pre-occupied. need to get a job! knew it from the start. thanks for being my listeners. Gotta get busy and get a job can't sit around and blog!!! GEEEZ what the hell have I been doing!!

Inner politics...blah blah blah

Ah yes spring is here, the time of newness(?) and freshness change and growth. So what do you have to say this is where you get to start the new year for really! does this also mean forgive too? I really wonder, it say to forgive is heavenly...what exactly does that mean? (goin churchy on ya) It says in the Bible, that God s a jealous god and he will forgive whom he will forgive but it unto us to forgive all! But then we are to fashion ourselves unto him!?(in other word as we teach our children too do as I say not as I do). ah! So know I have vented and time to start.
This particular blog will kind of be a lot of venting (it is spring).
Rumors and gossip vs. caring and worry, how does it break down, simply, when you pass a verbal message on with the intent to do harm or defamation it is a lie or rumor or gossip(gossip meaning the bad kind), but even in the best of intentions kind get you the wrong results right !?
I've always been pretty oblivious and or ignorant towards rumor and lies but when they effect you loved ones and or family it gets pretty hard, Admittedly I am not the perfect person that you all think of me as (Hahaha) and have my faults yet I do not intentionally try to hurt anyone!! this I speak the truth. after 10 years of working behind a bar, I've been the hearing and listening ear to many a story and have been able to see the effects of the rumor on lots of people, including myself. And I still cannot see the satisfaction of it! how do you better yourself by belittling someone else? And the chicken hearted type of person especially who says or starts out like this, "don't say I said anything... or I didn't say this but..." if you don't have the guts to face up to it then don't say it!! Furthermore if you don't know who said it and you pass it on have the courage to be the origin of the rumor! cuz you are!
So what is the attraction to it? to be the one who knows about everything? or the center of attention! don't get it! that is it for the rumor thing but what about the ones who don't do it to harm you but do it out of caring, you know the type that comes and says " Hey, I heard about so and so... is he/she OK? can they do that?" what this does is puts pressure on the person to act like society want them or thinks they should act. Do you act accordingly?
Which person are you ? If you hear that there is a rumor about you what do you do ? do you; 1- get revenge by saying something about that person, 2- get angry and find this person and beat them senseless, 3- ignore it and go on. I try to be number three but I really am getting tired of all the bs going around! just to let you know this would have been a three page long venting tour about 2 weeks ago but I have since cooled down and am now just wondering what gives the soul fuel to keep the jealousy going and revenge flowing. Why does bother me and when did I stop being amune to it!

Slipping in the polls

All right now here we go again, back again to the blog site, or what I call the cyber-vent site. It's the All you eat site for the cyber-world OOoOOOooooOOoo cool, or at the least a little snappy. so the last time we were here we were venting about people in Japan... foreigners, one of my favorite past times, next is comparing Japans lack of being able to compare to the United States in everything, or at least my version of everything, you know, why the can't do business as well as I can, or how come I have the solution to all Japans problems. you know like who really runs Japan and why they can't get out from under the U.S. arm of {protection}. or most other world problems that I can solve better than anybody else....whatever....so again here we are...and...yup...uhhhh...what was I saying!? oh yeah bunnies...so back to foreigners in Japan, and the funny antics that go on. Anyone who has been in Japan for longer than lets say 5 years 4000 reruns of Star Treck ( the original) and finally gets cable T.V. and is eternally watching C.S.I. or American Idol, or 36 hours of the 4hour cycle of the Discovery channel, saying this I've been here for over twenty.... nuf said yup!! just to prove a point about the rerun thing I have a couple of friends who can, in Star Wars voice imitations recite verbatim StarTreck episodes mixing in and out of The Matrix scenes, actually having a converstion that makes sense!!! ( yes nerds...but the fact that I can understand them drives me nuts and they think it is funny) so yes we live the life deprived of any real social value, OH! I forgot to tell you that I live in Nagasaki Japan....so there it is, yes kinda small. anyway, you are here, in Japan, what is there to do, you can...drink alcohol, and go to a festival (another way to drink alcohol), date party!! ( yes another way to get oblitereated), weddings...(same), Hanami ( viewing the cherry blossoms) for the aesthetic(?) and cultural value (yup you guessed it, get blasted.... even better it is in the afternoon!!!) and just about anything you do in Japan leads to alcohol. You know lets see how many things lead to drinking.... start from the begginning of the year... ok Jan. 1 Years day (Japan last for three days!!! hahaha-- suckas), the coming of age day ( in Japan turning 20) it's supposed to be for those of you turning 20 years old...yeah right older and younger are getting in on this one!!! (party together, you know caste society! ) then you have Shinnenkai ( begginning the year party for companies ...and dprivate companies, and friends and...well you getit! then there's Feb. Founders day, and coincedently my birthday!!! then some friends birthdays, then March the Vernal equinox ( yes they celebrate that here with a holiday), and nore birthdays and graduation!!! paaaaaaartee! Now It's spring time and you have the cherery blossoms ( drinking from noon, and night time viewing too) all day!! May, Golden week!!!! yes one week of drinking parties(Golden Week is two holidays that are a day apart so they just made them three days, if you play you cards right you coul have up to ten days for vacation). More birthdays, weddings you know, now we are slowly getting to warmer weather, this means more parks and BBQ and such, it is good enough to hit the beach, for those of you who are blessed to live close enough( yes I live 20 mins from a ton of very fine beaches). Then ther's June I don't know if there is a holiday in June but who cares it's summer and the rainy season, hot and muckky!! Drink and be merry! Now we start for summer, it's July, we have Ocean day and... basically summer, who needs another reason. Then August rolls in and you have Obon Japans' own "Day of the dead" drink and eat! and you should come to Nagasaki for this event I promise you will never regret of forget it!!! I'm sure this would be outlawed in most or all other countries, except China! now your in the festival season, drink, drink, drink. now we're into September and the summer solstice and seasonal foods that are absolutely exquisite but generally made to compliment alcohol! October, more festivals Health day, November, Old peoples day, now we sar the end of the year parties, drink, drink, drink. and December, year end Christmas small calss reunions and party, party, party!!! and slowly but surely liver failure for most of us and the others much af what happened cannot ( and probably should not) be remembered! Yes Japan, culture, reserve, exquisit quisine, adn....ALCOHOL!! Ok so enough about that next time we'll talk about...ooooh, How good your Japanese is!! this is a great topic. Prenta guidance is advised for this one!!

yes, we can...maybe

ok so it has been a while had some work...yes work to do ( occasionally I do work for the money) so that some day I too will pay all the people that I owe money back!! so yes I had a job translating something I had no business doing!! in other words it was way over my head but got through it!! yeah!! and got paid more yeah!! How about that! so where were we before... lob shop, then...crap I can't remember and can't be asked to look so here is this weeks...or times lesson on how to make a fool of yourself in Japan. I'msure none of you have done this ever in your travels through out Japan, never didn't understand what someone was saying and answered completely unrelated and embarrassing answer!! I know . Never been publically intoxicated and slept in the street or in front of someones dorr not yours eh! well here it is time to reveal under a secret name WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO EMBARRASS YOUR FAMILY NAME!! but in Japan so IT DOESN'T MATTER!! yeah right!! Ever been the only one laughing in the movie theatre... or stepped into someones house ...with your shoes on by accident, How about passing food from stick to stick...yup been there done that! These things I like to call "stupid gaijin tricks",and some of them are side splitters, you the type, there's always "that gaijin" you know the annoying one,actually there are about five different types, let's name them ... all. First and foremost there is "fresh meat" hehe you know... just came from a different country and doesn't know smack, like a sponge you can feed them anything, lately these kids are a little more knowledgeable about Japan (not) but that doesn't say much. "here have some raw horse meat" is my favorite cuz most people can't stomach horse let alone raw, and no one believes you anyway. Also teaching these people Japanese is great too. so much fun!! Where "can I have some bread" becomes "hey old toothless bitty get me my bread now!" and so on. Then there is the Japannawanna these guys are the hard ones to deal withcuz they have lost touch with reality and have tried to become Japanese!!! (which by the way is close to imposible, like Japanese whiskey you can become close but no cigar baby no matter how good you get!). you know the type "Hey Bob howz it hangin'", reply "konnichiwa aruba-tosann, genkidesu ka?"pleeeease!! To speak well in Japanese is a credit to you and a compliment to the Japanese people... to try to be one of them (no matter how much you think there world is better than your own) is an insult to Japanese and a joke to to yourself!!! I have lived in this country for over 20 years and I love it just like the next Japannawanna but never have I thought of myself as being Japanese, Don't get me wrong I do not believe for a moment that you connot live among the Japanese as some people would have you think but to think " I'm Japanese is ludacris!! ok enough about that. Next guy (person) is me, the LIFER the guy who came here by whatever means that got him here, and has or will be her forever!!! yes admit it! you are not going home!!! for whtever god foresaken reason you're here! For the first years it was always "yeah I think I'm going home next year.... for 10 yearsthen it's "well maybe when my kids hit grade school" and then lately it's "yup ain't going home man shit...." yes we know who we are! so get to like it! ok who's next....? AAAHHHH yes, how could we forget the "what the F#$%"%K are you doing here!!!" guy, to this eternal complainer I say "GO HOME BIYOOOOOTCH" you make everyones life miserable just because you dissatisfied with how everything isn't like it is at home!! This is Japan not your home town! Civil rights HAHAHA stop asking why they don't have it here? they don't get over it!! Yesw there are some things that might go better if you were President or Prime Minister but...your not! but there are a lot of things that work here that wouldn't even begin to to be comprehended in other countries (public intoxication) non PC, lots of stuff, I can't understand why these people stay or even came for that mater. ok I could go on for years about these types so next. Next the entrapaneur ( hope I spelled it right , if not sorry), now this guy is usually pig headed, big headed, and some times actually know what he's talking about, except for the fact that all they want to talk about is ...money! everything is how you can make money doing this or that. Wish I had a dime (10yen coin) for every guy who said " yo bro pizza would go awesome here"still haven't met anybody that got rich of this money maker!! many are dooing it but only a few... I mean 1 or 2 have had real success ( but they all know about sales maneging, marketeering, and they definately know that Japanese people looooove pizza"! WHaaaaatteva! ( I know that I don't know everybody either). Now I've come to the guy that I think everyone can identify with, whether you are this guy or not you definately know one or more!!this person is genderless because it goes both ways, (although I've come across more male than female) they are the.... Super-model, hiilarious joke telling, way cool, never wrong every girl (or guy) wants me...couldn't get a date to save your life in your own country, could scare flies off of doggies doodoos( I could be more graphic but I do realize that some day my mother would read this and find out 1st where I am, and then what my language is like when I'm not at home, so bare wiht me please)...nerd. Yes the guy (or girl) who has come from the world of "talk to the hand" and "sorry I have to wash my dogs hair tonight", but here in Japan gets dates and comments like "you look like Brad Pitt, or Tom Cruise" yeah right. Don't get me wrong it is a total ego booster... but for many it's more of a Ego on steroids and viagra with a shot of Cuban Coffee!! Because you can't stop these people. they get maniacal, I mean it, I would be the last person to say "duuuude you are waaaay out of you class" but guess what...STOP IT!!! PLEASE!! In oone sense you feel for these types, but when they say "she (or he) is in to me", the game is over! Do you not realize when Japanese poeple say "ooooh your Japanses is soo good( nihongo ga ojouzu desu ne) it really means " If I tell you your Japanese is good will you stop talking to me so we can continue to have this blisfull relationship" you wanna know when your Japanese is good? when they start getting annoyed by the mistakes you shouldn't be making and tell you politely of course," excuse me but we don't say it like that , it is..."and then precede to belittle you to the ground so politely you don't realize that 1 your japanese sucks, 2 your happy about it! then you know I must be doing something right ! So you can realize what this does to the nerd turned super-model type. I think this is going to be a two part series cuz I'm having fun but it is 6:15 in the moorning and I forgot to mail my ugly rotten one tooth fat pizza face Girlfriend...yes this is Japan, so you know what, yup My GF is F&#$&%$in' HOT!! gotta go! next time we're gona have fun with Americans and accents!! l8r

Gettin' votes

So here we are again, and I'm still broke and still not working!! But does that stop the campaign!! hell no! and I'm gettin ready to go to another prefecture to work...maybe! so what is it gonna be this time for a story, as I wondered of the deep end last blog. Who knows, I got it drinking nights and counseling!!
Ever notice how much wisdom we have when we're drunk... how ironic is that statement! Yeah anyway, seems to the thing that people enjoy the most. I was a bartender for the better part of 12 years and the one thing I figured out, is what my good friend Bills " Uncle Willy" would always say, "We're all pink on the inside" (more quotes from Uncle Willy later gotta get permission first). Though I truly believe it is true, we are all the same, what separates us is gender only! then you know how it is. Yes I truly believe "Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus"(book). Ok so back to the pink thing, I live in Japan and have been for the better part of 23 years, and for 12 of these wonderful years I was a bartender and owner for 7, some things I learned while watching you all get "wammered" are things like " SOMEBODY BY ME A DRINK!"... willl never work, and if you buy a girl a drink, you're nice but a little dumb, if you think that buying all her drinks is gonna get you laid... HAHAHAHAHAAAaaa----!!! STUPID! Now having said that whether or not you are from Japan or th U.S. or Canada, or China, or Germany, or Russia, good looking is important to people, but that look is different to everybody, what looks good to you may not be so good to me, and vice versa. so when your buddy says " yo dawg she(or he) is fine " and you go "Whaaaat the fu.....!" remember to each his own! Anyway everybody wants to be accepted, not neccessarily poular but accepted. We dress to look good or feel comfortable, again to each his own, but that is it we all want to look good in our own way, UNIVERSAL!, the first time I heard it was in a movie ( Hitch; Will Smith) " there isn't a woman out there who when she gets up in the morning that doesn't want to be swept off her feet that day", definately, to add to that I don't think there's a man out there that wouldn't want to be able to do that. So all in all we all want to look good and feel good. Another point would be would be what I call Self-rating, what you rate yourself on a scale from 1　- 10, what are you? people generally think of themselves as a higher self-rate! Me of course am a 22!!!So there it is nothing new but still sometimes forgotten, all about looking and feeling good on the inside.

Now about the bar thing, no the men and women thing! Can't we all just get along!? ( some famous guy after getting pummeled on the street!) yeah can't we? the answer is... (drum roll) no. It just can't happen, I'm tellin ya it can't, won't, don't even try! and then out of nowhere, it does, damn it ! waddayado! Guys think women are so selfish and non-caring, women know that guys are unable to understand their feelings and or just think we don't ever grow up. So what is the solution...of course more alcohol! Ok I'm fallin asleep I shall return later...